HOW TO BUILD FINANCIAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE Pst. C.A OLARENWAJU

2Tim. 4:9, Rom. 16:3, Gen. 3:19

Two couples were happily married but they failed to agree on how to handle their finances. Before long, one husband discovered that his wife has build a house without his knowledge.

Therefore trust was broken and the marriage started to struggle. The other couple sat down together to plan and discuss about their finances. It was agreed that money of the husband will be used for the family expenses while that of the wife will be used to build future house. That couple is now living in their own house with all their children married with peace and tranquillity reigning in their homes. How good is it for couple to work.

Note: some women believe that the husband money is “all of us money” but her own money is “my money: when couples failed to plan their family finances together, they are playing with fire. Money issues must be properly and maturely handled.

Research on money rank in marriage so high and it can break marriage: 2Thes 3:10, 1Tim. 5:8, Prov. 30:7-9

Financial Crisis - 50%

Sex - 40%

In-laws - 7%

Others - 3%

No home can be truly healthy of the issue on money is not properly handled. Ignorance of family finance has led to untold sufferings, crisis, promiscuity, separation and divorce in many homes. Weeping may endure more than a night when you don’t plan your finances properly.

Money plays a major role in any family. Family finance therefore deals with sourcing for and spreading money in the family. Until you and your family are financially free you are not free from immorality and several untold events. Any ideal family must have basics needs met (food, clothing and shelter). Your family must not live in and should not cultivate credit buying. Your income must be more than your expenditure. Couple must have financial planning and goal. They must be jointly contributed to the family budget. Money must not be allowed to put asunder what God has joined. They must be honest with each other about their finance.

WHERE MONEY CAN BE LOCATED?

1. In working hard/smart – Prov. 22:29

2. In legal goods/service –Prov. 6:1-6

3. Translate idea, talent and gifts to money.

Note: The failure to pray, work and plan by realistic expectations in monetary matters has brought the devil in full force to many homes. Lack of money has caused injury-stress, nagging, extra marital affairs, lack of joy, divorce and untimely death.

I have decided in my marriage not to buy any consumable items in credit and God back our action. (Prov. 6:7) borrower is a slave to the leader.

7 KINDS OF COUPLE IN FINANCIAL MATTERS LUKE 14:28-30, PSALM 62:10.

1. SILVER SPOOM COUPLES:

They are couples from rich homes, background and inheritance. Each comes into the marriage financially strong, but due to lack of humility and tolerance for one another usually leads to divorce.

2. PROVIDENCE COUPLE:

These are couples that practice misplaced faith without planning and work. They are barely seeking out for a living, yet no family planning, No work or job, they cast all their problems on God and others. They are but poor, holy but hungry. Their slogan is “if God willeth”

3. THE STRIGLERS:

These are couples that struggle to survive always. There is no good job, source of income and positive mindset. No saving but watching for luck. They don’t desperately do anything to change the situation. No wonder they are devout but destitute.

4. CASH HUSBAND:

This is a couple that has financially okay. He is well-to-do but the wife never enjoy her one day.

5. WIFE-HUSBAND:

This is a couple where the wife is the bread winner, she has a good job, she dominates the husband and has houses built secretly.

6. SPENDRIFT COUPLES:

There are couples that are loose in spending and care less about monies. All they have are on them. They always live to proof a point.

7. STRAGETIC COUPLES:

These are couple that know how to make, manage and multiplied money. They join hands together to build a financially free family.

Note: number 7 couple is only family that can be financially healthy in their marriage and home.

SOURCES OF PROBLEMS IN FINANCIAL INTIMACY IN TODAY MARRIAGE PSALM 144:12-14

1. We have known that financial crisis take 50% of in marriage, why?

2. Lack of gainful employment

3. Lack of planning for the future/family size

4. Having only one source of income

5. Ignorance & generational curses

6. Disobedient to law of tithing and giving – Mal. 3:10

Iv. HOW TO HANDLE THE CHALLENGE OF FINANCIAL INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE (JOB 3:6-11)

1. Your family must not be poor and pure, devout but destitute and holy but hungry. You can do that by imbibing the principles:

2. Repent of past financial distrust/ mistakes.

3. Discuss your financial state together and plan to move ahead

4. Couples are one, money must not divide them:

5. There must be transparent or family account of possible and obedient to sowing seed-Gal 6:7 widen and increase your source of income (either through employment or business

6. Let God see something to bless in your hand 2King 4:1-7

7. Plan your family size together – 2Tim. 5:8

8. Cultivate 10, 10, 10 and 70% principle.

9. Money should be wisely/ prayerfully invested into where there it can yield.

10. Where there is no money, couple should not behave as if money is their source of joy.

Conclusion:

God has not called us to stupendous wealth and riches nor to poverty and penury. Money must be a blessing and not a curse in our homes and marriages.

Therefore, if we wisely, properly, purposely and patiently plan and pray about making, managing and multiplying money in homes, we shall be then free in deed financially.

See your family as a blessing and never a beggar to your generation.

C.A OLARENWAJU