FATHERHOOD AND SONSHIP IN MINISTRY
One of the major dysfunctions of the Church today has to do with the issue of FATHERHOOD. The calamities and corruption of the Church today can be traced back to poor fathering. Too many so-called ‘fathers’ have not been responsible fathers, while some have abused their fatherly positions. Consequently, many ministers are without father-figures in their lives and the ministries have been the worse for it.
Furthermore, many teachings, books and write-ups on mentoring and fatherhood have been grossly one-sided and the results have been unpalatable on all sides. This teaching will take a scriptural and dispassionate look at these major dysfunctions again with a view to strike the much needed balance for the good of all.
The Bible, the very word of God that has been kept for thousands of generations addresses the issue of fatherhood and sonship squarely and without ambiguity.
“And think not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, that God is able of these stones to raise up child unto Abraham.” Matthew 3:9
“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.” Matthew 6:9
Our Lord Jesus introduced God of heaven as our Father. Abraham is addressed as the father of faith. Apostle Paul introduced himself as a spiritual father to Timothy, his son in the faith.
“Unto Timothy, my own son in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace, from God our Father and Jesus Christ our Lord.” 1 Timothy 1:2
Fathers are the spiritual giants OVERSEEING, COVERING and BACKING us up along the journey of life and faith.
Everyone needs a father, but not everybody can and do function as good, godly father to those under him. The place of a good father cannot be overemphasized. A fatherless generation is surely a lost generation. There can be BIOLOGICAL FATHERS, SPIRITUAL FATHERS, CHURCH FATHERS, MINISTRY FATHERS and ETERNAL FATHERS.
Age, class, status, levels or degrees doesn’t make anybody a father, but maturity and responsibility.
Moses had Father Jethro
Young Joshua had Moses
Young Samuel had Prophet Eli
King Saul had Prophet Samuel
Prophet Elisha had Prophet Elijah
King David had Prophet Nathan
King Solomon had King David
Apollo had Priscilla and Aquila
Paul had Simon, Barnabas
Timothy had Apostle Paul
Spiritual fathers can be called several names, such as Mentors, Coaches, Leaders, Influencers and Overseers.
“For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel.” – 1 Corinthians 4:15
A spiritual father is someone who BROUGHT YOU to the Lord; DEVELOPED and TAUGHT you; DISCIPLED you; NURTURED and BELIEVES in you; gave you platform and INTRODUCED you; TRAINED and HONED your gift and calling; PRAYS and INTERCEDES for you; give you foresight out of his own hindsight.
A pioneer in ministry and someone who has brought much challenge, inspiration, instruction and blessings to your life by his own examples, teachings and ministry.```
A true father invests TIME, TRUST and TREASURES in his children over a long period of time. A true father SPENDS and continues to invest in the future potentials of his children. He is really happy to see them grow and fulfill potentials.
In some occasions, your spiritual father can also function as your mentor and coach, but in other occasions, your mentor will be different from your spiritual or biological father.
THE NEED FOR SPIRITUAL FATHERS IN MINISTRY (Acts 18:24-28)
By its nature, ministry is a thankless job and it kills. Without spiritual fathers, you can easily be consumed by the vagaries of ministry. If you are to last long and survive the contaminating effect of ministry, you will surely need a father figure in your life.
For training, instruction and leadership.
For direction, counseling and guidance.
For covering, protection and upliftment.
For accountability and responsibility.
To avoid error, false doctrine and drifting.
For blessing and favour.
For platforms and open doors.
To avoid mistakes that ruin ministries.
No matter who you are and the level of your encounter with the Lord, you will surely need a father figure in your life. Without a good and godly spiritual father, you will fall prey to the gimmicks of the devil.
How can you really go far, when you are the all in all of your life and ministry?
Roberts Liardon had no father in ministry and he fell.
Ted Haggard failed to open up to his father, but when he fell, his father saved His ministry.
Larry Stocktill and John Maxwell credited their lives and ministry success to their biological and spiritual fathers.
Don’t ever do ministry without a good and godly father that will hold you accountable. You will always NEED someone to report yourself to, someone to speak candidly to you, someone who can call you by your first name and spank you on the head, someone that will sharply rebuke you, someone you are truly afraid of and who has authority over your life and ministry.
You need someone who has the permission to discipline you when you go out of line.
You need someone you can submit your “revelations” to before you start teaching them.
Unfortunately, lots of young ministers of today don’t have this kind of person in their lives and ministries, no wonder many are going astray and dabbling into erroneous practices.
I agree that this issue had been grossly abused today, to the extent that many ministers have no father figure in their lives and ministries.
Many are practicing distant fathering, calling someone your father whom you don’t have one on one relationship with. Just like many people referring to TD Jakes as their father or mentor, whom they have not seen, known or met.
While wrong teachings and practices have portrayed the issue of fatherhood or mentoring in ministry only from the financial angel, yet the fact of scripture shows that it is far beyond that.```
RESPONSIBILITIES OF SPIRITUAL FATHERS (I Cor. 4:15, Isaiah 42:1-4, Prov. 13:22)
Someone might be asking about distant or abstract mentoring, coaching or fathering, and this would be my reply:
There is possibility of distant and abstract mentoring. I have benefitted from this also. Even, lots of people are mentored by my posts, books and teachings over the years, but the ideal nature of mentoring is one on one.
Personal contact, nurturing, covering, impartation, accountability, and sharing are fundamental to spiritual mentoring. Another scriptural name for mentoring or fathering is DISCIPLESHIP.
Spiritual fathers have awesome responsibilities in the body of Christ. Much more than physical fathers, they are to nurture the next generation of leaders for Christ.
Once you preach the gospel of Christ and you have converts that look up to you for spiritual growth and walk with God, you are a spiritual parent, and your responsibilities are inclusive of these:
NURTURING and EMPOWERING.
Lay a legacy of good work and value system.
Be a good model and worthy example.
Broad minded and developer of talents.
Discipline and correction in truth.
Encourage the weak, lift the fallen.
Provide a ladder and platform.
Challenge and motivate for great impact.
Invoke divine blessings, favour and open doors.
A good and godly father must be free from selfishness, pettiness and jealousy; he is happy to raise up the foundation of many generations and rebuild the old waste places (Isaiah 58: 10-12).
He must be ready to invest in the potentials, gifts and ministry of others.
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A FATHER AND MENTOR
Too many people are confused about the difference between a spiritual father and a mentor. Yes in many instances, both can be the same, yet in lots of occasions also, they can be different. Different people can play these roles in your life over period of time.
For example, I have some few spiritual fathers in my life, and also have many mentors. My spiritual fathers were there for me at the beginning of my spiritual walk with the Lord, they were there for me at the foundation of my ministry. But I had to look for mentors in the unique area of ministry that God called me into. You can have many mentors in your life, such as marriage, finance, ministry, health and leadership mentors or coaches. The followings are major differences between a spiritual father and mentors.
A father helped you to start while a mentor keeps you on track.
A father builds you up, a mentor gives you clarified vision.
A father sees your potentials; a mentor makes you fulfill it.
A father keeps track of you, a mentor speaks to you candidly.
A father endures with you, a mentor places a demand on you.
A father knows you well, a mentor seeks to know you.
A true father will never abuse you, a mentor can take advantage of you.
A true father sets you on the way, a mentor gives you a ladder to climb.
A true father posses a large patient heart, a mentor wants verifiable results.
Apostle Paul writes through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, “For though ye have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet have ye not many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel”
You will need a mentor and father in the ministry, if you are going to go far.
Your father or mentor may not be popular, well known nor have a ‘big’ ministry, but once he has demonstrated the qualities of a good father or mentor, it is wicked to abandon him for a popular one.
It’s a lie to say you can’t have two fathers. You sure definitely can have more than one father or mentor, because the one who gave birth to you, either biologically or spiritually, may not, or do not play that role in your life to any appreciable degree.
TYPES OF SPIRITUAL FATHERS IN MINISTRY TODAY
A good and godly mentor will add good value to your life and set you up in the ways of God, to realize His assignment for your life. A mentor or father that only takes from you but doesn’t add to you is an aberration.
1. SELF-IMPOSED FATHERS - are senior ministers that feel that you should be under them, because they see the good work God is doing through you. They behave as if they are your mentor and impose themselves on you. They place a demand on you and get offended if you don’t treat them as they expect.
Without much ado, they proudly refer to you as ‘my son in the ministry’, when you invite them to preach in your Church or meetings, yet they are not contributing anything to you, but only interested in your seeds, tithes and gifts.
2. ABSENTEE FATHERS - are truly your father, but they are never available. They are not there for you when you need them. They only collect your tithe and write you a receipt. To see them might take 3 – 6 months. They see you as a pest in their lives, just a number or meal ticket. In most cases, they don’t know you, visit you nor put a call through to you to ask of your welfare. But when they don’t receive your tithes in time, they threaten to place a curse on you.
3. ABUSIVE FATHERS - take advantage of you and inflict pain on you. They demand for money, and expect things you cannot afford from you. They see whatever you give them as a right and never really appreciate your sacrifices. They castigate, backstab and injure you.
They take sides with your accusers and run you down at every opportunity.
4. CASH FATHERS - are only after money, gifts and benefits from you. They will never correct nor rebuke you for any wrong. They relate with you on cash and carry basis. They sing and talk of their needs in your ears, and you only get close to their good book when money is flowing from you to them. Once the money stops, you are a bad boy!
5. BACKSLIDING FATHERS - started with God, but have somehow gone back into sin and error. They now live against what they once preached. Their lives and ministries have become corrupt, immoral and against the scripture, yet they are laying hands on upcoming young ministers here and there, thus contaminating their future.
Moreover, they see you as their son and keep a hold on you. They find it hard to accept their errors. Some of them have dabbled into occultism, spurious prophetic acts and strange miracles in ministry, and they want to lure you in too by your close proximity to them.
6. SELFISH FATHERS - are fathers that are like king Saul of old. They are jealous, insecure of the graces, potentials and gifting of their young David. They are threatened, reactionary and will do anything to keep their protégés in bondage and not release them to go and fulfill their God given purposes. They only think in terms of Me, I, Myself.
7. NURTURING FATHERS - spend time, talent and treasures to nurture and empower sons in the Lord. They discipline and correct where possible. They demonstrate concern for the person than their gifts. They hold relational meetings, counseling sessions, question and answer sessions for their mentees. They visit, call, pray for and intercede for those who look up to them as spiritual parents. They are willing to provide resources that will uplift their dependents in the Lord. They are fruitful grounds to sow.
What kind of spiritual father, mentor or coach are you to those looking up to you?
INJURIES BY FATHERS
Lots of ministers are carrying internal, ministry and psychological injuries about, inflicted on them by their spiritual fathers. Today, lots of MENTORS have become TORMENTORS and MENTHOLATUM due to the following factors. They bring the following to the lives of their mentees:
Curses in ministry
Stagnation and crisis
Sexual escapades and molestation
Scattered Church and people
Spiritual limitation and struggling
Rumors and backbiting
Spiritual battle and warfare
Broken homes and families
Closed doors and heaven
Barrenness and fruitlessness
Wrong counseling that leads to downfall
Disloyal and double tongued
Deceptive and occultic
Breakaway and backstabbing
Drag name in the mud
Users and thumb suckers
Disobedient and rebellious
Amazingly, some fathers are the architect of the spiritual downfall of their sons in the ministry. They feel jealous, envious and accuse their sons of pride and spiritually pray them down! And they rejoice at their downfall.
Many of the breakaways and losses we see in Church today can be traced to poor fathering. Just as poor biological fathers raise up wayward, delinquent and vagabond children that troubles society, so also does bad, abusive and selfish spiritual fathers raise up ministry delinquents that practice evil things and teach strange doctrines in the body of Christ, thereby bringing shame to themselves and reproach to Gods name.
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